if you look deep, deep into my eyes and look past my fake smile you will see that i am broken, truly broken. i dont want to pretend to be happy anymore, i want to be naturally happy. i dont want to get upset everytime i see him. i want to be over him. and happy without him. i dont understand why i am in love with someone who now treats me like shit. and i just dont understand that if he really did used to love me, how his feelings for me just vanished. how can you stop loving someone that ment so much to you? unless everything he ever told me was a lie. i question if he ever really had feelings for me. was it all just a waste of time? i dont even know. but what i do know, and to all of you this is going to seem stupid and you'll probably think im crazy and wrong but i dont care, what i do know is that he was/is sapposed to be the one for me. i've never felt so strong about something. he is the one that i am sapposed to be with for the rest of my life. and maybe knowing this is why it is so hard for me to simply forget about him. believe you me, if i could get over him i would. im not holding on just because. you really think that i like feeling like this all the time? no. i hate it. sometimes i really hate that i ever met him. but then again for the time we were together he was the best thing that ever happened to me. i never once was sad when he was in my life. but now that he is gone, i feel empty. and i hate it. no one ever loved me like he did. that is if he really did love me. but whatever.